Shoemaker's Elves
by tFantasyFan
Summary: Don's supposed to be 'taking a break,' but repairs keep turning up finished and no one believes he's not responsible. So what exactly is going on? Pre-slash or simply brotherly, depending upon the reader.
1. Chapter 1

_Why, hello! Thanks for tuning in to read my very shoddy first attempt to write something for the Valentine's spirit. You should only have to suffer through five chapters, so no worries._

_Disclaimer: Like I'd be allowed to do this if I did own them?_

* * *

Donatello was growing decidedly tired of the sight of television remotes.

It seemed as though no matter what he intended to do or when he intended to do it, the shattered plastic remnants of one of the many in their possession could be found waiting in the wings of his work tables. And with remotes being one of the few appliances they used on a frequent basis, he couldn't very well _ignore _them there. Which left only the option of repairing them as quickly as possible and hoping that he could find the time to work on the dozens of other projects demanding his attention.

Picking up one of the remaining pieces of the day's most recent specimen of violence towards inanimate objects, he dropped his head balefully. It bore the classic symptoms of an encounter with a hyper Michelangelo combined with an irate Raphael. Scooping the entirety of the mess with a sigh, he plopped back into his chair, secured his goggles and felt around under various levels of detritus for the appropriate tool kit.

"Well," he muttered, using a spare pair of tweezers to hold up one of the smallest pieces, "At least they didn't decide to use it as a target for shuriken practice. I don't think even _I _could have brought you back from that again," the genius added on casually.

He pulled his arm free of its techno-prison with a frown, spinning around in his chair to eye the room in general before diving into a box of cast-off parts with refreshed vigor. The tools he kept placed to the side for repairs requiring more precise work weren't in their usual place. Which was strange, because he was sure he could remember having put them away the night before last. Donnie stood, carefully placing the tweezers in his belt and pushing his goggles up onto his forehead as he began digging around on various other surfaces. A half-fixed coffee pot was casually pushed to the side in his efforts to raid a shelf and he cast it an apologetic glance.

"It seems you're going to have to wait your turn," he informed it bluntly, pausing in his search long enough to set it on a table next to the charred corpse of what had once been a working toaster. The purple-clad turtle resisted the strong urge to drop-kick the breakfast appliance through his lab door and into Leonardo's unsuspecting face. Exactly how his older brother had managed to catch a toaster on fire, he had no idea.

Leo could make any number of meals with minimal difficulty, but stick him in a room with the toaster and you were just asking for it. Donnie brought himself back down to earth by reminding his imagination that his brother would probably slice the toaster in half before it could actually hit him. So much for that. The toaster received one of his strongest glares. "I'm fixing the coffee pot first, so don't even try to get me with sympathy. We both know you'll just end up in here again within a week."

And yet, he knew he would wind up repairing the toaster almost immediately after the coffee pot, and by then the remote would probably be broken again, and after that Raphael would probably drop off something that would no-doubt be impaled by his weapons of choice, not to mention anything on which Mikey could find buttons to press too often…He sighed in defeat. It wasn't as though his brothers didn't apologize for destroying harmless property, and it wasn't as though he didn't enjoy doing things for them. But maybe, once in a while, it would be nice to find a chance to work on the projects he'd started ages ago. The toaster sat in its place innocently all the while, mocking him.

"Toasters," he stated hatefully, "are the bastard appliance." There was a soft snickering as he turned away from the appliance in question, and the genius spun on his heel to face it again, blinking. Cautiously, he held it up with the tips of his fingers, as though expecting another explosion. He tilted his head to the side in observation.

"You really shouldn't talk down to the toaster like that, Don. If it senses your hatred, it'll just blow up again." The charred appliance hit the table with a loud crash as the purple-banded ninja jumped, bringing a hand to his plastron.

"Do I or do I not have a clearly defined rule about coming in without knocking, Mikey?" He asked irritably, facing his younger brother and raising an eye ridge. Mikey chuckled nervously, leaning around the large box in his hands to meet the gaze.

"I always thought of it as more of a guideline, y'know?" Blue eyes traveled around the lab, taking in the scene before him. "So, uh, what are you doing?" Donnie blinked, looking around before remembering his dilemma with a snap of his fingers. He turned his attention back to searching his shelves.

"Well, I don't know where- I can't seem to find my tool kit. Have you seen it around?"

"Tool kit? You mean the one you keep in the garage?"

"No, that's for vehicle maintenance."

"The one under your mega-computer station?"

"I use that for computer repairs, not the remote."

"The one under the couch?"

"Well, I _could _use that one, considering it's my spare, but I'd really rather use the one that I keep in here al- wait a second, how did you know I keep a spare under the couch?" Donatello asked, turning his gaze back to his brother. Mikey smiled in return, shrugging his shoulders.

"Everybody knows about it. As many times as we've lost the remote down there, bro, and you think we wouldn't?" The genius smiled warily, taking notice of the box in his brother's arms.

"Right. Of course. And _that_, I assume, is why you've decided to grace me with your presence?" He asked point-blank, nodding at the object that currently held his attention. The orange-clad brother grinned innocently, which was answer enough for the other turtle. "You realize that if there's been another microwave incident, I'll be forced to reconstruct the toaster as a robot sentry and order it to destroy you on sight."

"Sorry, Donnie, you'll have to live out your secret desire to be a super villain another day. The microwave's completely unharmed. _This_," Michelangelo said enthusiastically, setting the box on the ground with dramatic flair, "is the DVD player that I found in the junkyard on the way home from April's."

"And you want me to fix it." It wasn't so much a question as it was a statement, and Mikey took note of that with a little guilt. Donnie picked up the player and hefted it, giving it a quick look-over. "It doesn't look like it's in bad condition. Actually, this is a very good find for a junkyard discovery. Don't we already have a DVD player, though?"

"Well, yeah. But this one is better. The one we have is kinda…on its last legs."

"Ah, and how much damage did you do to that one to warrant needing to find a new one?" Mikey said nothing in response, glancing away purposefully. Donatello set the player next to the toaster, returning to the search for his tool kit. "I promise I'll get it taken care of as soon as I can, Mike. I don't know exactly when that's going to be; I've been a bit occupied lately, it seems like everything's deciding to fall apart all at once-"

"It's not a big deal, Don," the youngest insisted, holding his hands up in a conciliatory manner. "I'm pretty sure I can survive with pirated cable and the million games you already hooked me up with for a while." Donnie made an affirmative noise in the back of his throat, rummaging around and emerging from his shelves with a tool kit and a triumphant grin. Pulling his goggles back down, he settled in by the broken remote once more.

"Right. If you'll excuse me, Mikey, I've got a few things to take care of. Just, ah, leave the player on the table, and any parts that go with it, and I'll get around to it sometime soon." Mikey set the box on the ground under the table and headed back out the door. Before closing it, he paused and turned around.

"You're gonna take a break today, right?" He asked with a slight frown.

"Hm? Yes, of course I am," the older turtle answered absentmindedly, fiddling with one of the loose buttons. The door closed and he was left alone with his work.

*************************************************

Donatello woke up the next morning with the tweezers stuck to the side of his face. Pulling them off distractedly and attempting to blink the sleep out of his eyes, he stumbled out the door and into the main living area of the lair. As he approached the couch, Michelangelo turned to him with a smile.

"Morning, Donnie!" He chirped happily. The smile fell a little when he took in the familiar tweezers imprint on his brother's cheek. "So I guess you were in the lab all night?"

After a few moments of tired silence, the question seemed to register and the genius turned to glance back at the door he'd left through. The sheepish expression creeping across his face informed Michelangelo of an assumption well made. His smile morphed into a full-on frown in the face of realization.

"I actually meant it when I said the DVD player wasn't a big deal, you know. I didn't mean for you to stay up all night working on it or anything." Slightly more awake, Donatello responded.

"I know what you said, Mike, and I know you meant it. Don't worry so much, bro." The younger brother's eyes narrowed suspiciously, but he seemed to accept the answer and allowed Donnie to continue his trek into the kitchen. The purple-banded brother passed by the couch in time to observe his brother raise the remote and press play on a DVD menu.

Strange. He couldn't recall finishing the repairs on either.

* * *

_Okay, that's the end of the first chapter of five. I know, I know: where's the Valentine's spirit? Well, hopefully it comes to fruition soon. Okay *straps on hard-hat*: how bad was it? Have I mutilated characterization as we know it? Let me have it straight, because this is one huge experiment for me._


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2/5. Always good to keep count, no? Here's hoping I can get the entire story written in time for Valentine's Day. Cheers, then! For the sake of this fic (really on a whim, but hey, my choice), I am forsaking my usual age order. So now it's going to be Leo, Raph, Donnie, then Mikey (oldest to youngest, obviously)._

_Disclaimer: Not mine. Seriously._

* * *

As he entered the kitchen area, attempting to push the matter of forgotten repairs to the back of his mind until such time as his brain was functioning, Donatello was struck by the crushing realization that their coffee pot was currently lying in a state of disrepair on one of his many shelves. It took a rather impressive display of self-control to keep himself from fleeing to his bedroom, where he would have proceeded to hide under his pillow in a state of vehement denial of the circumstances. His internal struggle was brought to an abrupt end by a series of loud explosions from whatever action-riddled movie Mikey was watching. Donnie turned, planting his hands on his hips and giving his brother a darkly significant look. The other turtle's response was to immediately turn the volume down a few notches with an innocent grin plastered across his face.

Rolling his eyes, the genius turned his attention to the arduous task of raiding their cabinets for anything that he could deem as suitable enough for breakfast. After a few moments of fishing around, he emerged with a brightly colored cereal box in hand. As he made for the sanctity that was the kitchen table, Donatello very suddenly found himself to be box-less and face to face with a smirking Leonardo. He made a half-hearted attempt to reclaim his breakfast of choice but the eldest turtle, in all of his bastardized ninja-master omnipotence, easily evaded the effort. The genius threw him a hostile glare.

"Considering the fact that I can't consume my usual amount of caffeine this morning, it's only fair that I be allowed to make up for it by ingesting mass quantities of sugar in its place," he stated in a clipped tone.

"And I'm sure you have a million scientific facts to back yourself up with, don't you?" Leo asked in return. Upon receiving a no-nonsense nod from the clearly not-amused ninja, his smirk only grew wider.

"Unfortunately for you, Donatello, I'm invoking my instinctive right as older brother to overrule those facts. You see: it seems to be your personal goal to spend the majority of your natural life in the lab, surviving solely on coffee and what I can only assume is the energy of the universe in general, considering the fact that you never _leave_. And as a result of that goal, it's _my _goal to see that while you're not in the lab, you eat food that's at least a little bit healthy."

Donnie made another ill-guided attempt to snatch back the box, only to find himself thwarted once more. His eyes narrowed indignantly, showing promise of painful revenge sometime in the future. Seeing that the battle was won, Leonardo placed the cereal back into the cabinet and shoved a bowl of instant oatmeal into his brother's hands. The purple-banded turtle slumped into his usual seat, glumly poking at it with a spoon.

"You know, I really don't see what makes you more highly qualified than me to judge what constitutes a healthy diet. I _am _usually the one taking care of everyone's health problems, aren't I?" He asked petulantly.

"Just eat the oatmeal, Don, and I'll make you some tea to enjoy with it," Leo answered, clearly unruffled by his brother's morning hostility. Apparently dealing with Raph on a regular basis made him a lot harder to intimidate. Donnie eyed the leader suspiciously.

"If I didn't know any better, Leonardo, I'd say that you purposely sabotaged the coffee maker in order to force your _allegedly _healthier foodstuffs down my throat." The blue-clad ninja set the tea on the table with a slight clinking noise, the very picture of affronted-ness.

"I can't believe you'd just throw accusations around like that, Donnie. That sort of suspicion certainly isn't going to strengthen any familial bonds. Don't you know me at all?" Donatello turned his eyes to his breakfast, opting not to respond. "Besides," Leo added on quietly, "I highly doubt you'd find any evidence linking me to the untimely demise of your beloved Mr. Coffee."

The genius affixed him with a deadly glare, lifting his spoon to jab accusingly in the other turtle's direction and opening his mouth to make some sort of snappy comeback, when he was interrupted.

"Geez, Leo, let your head get any bigger and we'll have to move to another part of the sewers just to find space for it," Raph snorted as he walked in, absently pouring himself a bowl of cereal. Donatello eyed it enviously from afar, silently swearing an oath of revenge. Leo cocked an eye ridge in response, composed as he raised his cup to his mouth.

"Don't be foolish, Raph." Donnie seethed venomously, the very picture of one with a future in the mad scientist profession. "I don't think we'd be able to find enough space on the entire eastern seaboard, let alone in the state of New York." Raphael snorted into his breakfast, clearly amused by the fact that Leo had somehow managed to get out of Donnie's good graces. Even he, in all of his hotheaded glory, hadn't managed that one.

"If it's as full of hot air as it usually is," Mikey chimed in from the couch, stifling his laughter, "at least we wouldn't have to worry about how we were gonna relocate."

This proved to be too much for Raph, who immediately ducked behind the cereal box as he struggled to regain his composure. Leonardo observed this with the benevolent air of one who was used to such antics, calmly standing and depositing his empty cup into the sink. Making his way to the dojo doors, he casually remarked:

"And who said I'd be giving _you guys_ a lift?" The doors slid closed behind him, the universal symbol of 'practice in ten, so be ready.' Donatello immediately slid the oatmeal across the table, reaching over and stealing Raph's untouched cereal while sticking his tongue out in Leo's general direction. Unfortunately for him, it seemed that the red-banded ninja had quite recovered from his bout of silent laughter. Donnie was seized by the back of his bandanna and forced to watch as the bowl was pulled away from his grasp.

"Nice try, but I don't think so, Brainiac," the second eldest growled threateningly, pushing the oatmeal back into its original place. Donnie's death glare, in lieu of having no Leonardo to pursue, was turned onto him in full force. Raph raised both eye ridges challengingly, smirking as the younger turtle backed down. Michelangelo wandered into the kitchen, readily pouring himself a bowl of cereal and swapping it out for the oatmeal.

"Have a little mercy, dude," he said, shaking a finger in Raph's direction. "He was in the lab all night, without coffee, fixing the remote that _you _threw at me."

"After _you _stole my cereal," Raphael returned easily, glaring at the youngest. Donatello, upon receiving the bowl, immediately (and more than a little spitefully) went on a cereal-eating rampage, leaving no puff untouched. He watched the exchange with little interest, eyes going back and forth between the two.

"Doesn't change the fact that _you _threw it."

"Don't change the fact that you took my cereal, either. Matter of fact, I was really just savin' him the trouble of havin' to fix something else today. If he wanted cereal so bad, he could've just poured his own."

"And you wouldn't have told Leo?" Raphael eyed him in a deadpan manner. A beat passed, then: "Right. Stupid question." Satisfied, the hothead turned to Don.

"So what's this about bein' in the lab all night?" He asked, voice deceptively calm. Donnie floundered for a moment or two, shooting Mikey a warning glance.

"Well, is there really anything I need to add onto the statement, Raph?" He replied matter-of-factly. His brother's silence was an answer all its own. "I was just repairing a few things and I fell asleep: that's all."

"Repairin' the remote."

"And, ah, the DVD player. Apparently."

"You don't _know_?" Mikey asked, looking a little concerned. "Have you been feeling alright, bro?" Donatello blinked in surprise.

"I'm fine. I was just tired. You know, a lot of things have been breaking lately, which isn't really surprising considering the sheer number of things we either receive secondhand or make for ourselves-"

"You mean the number of things _you _fix up so we can use 'em, and the stuff _you _put together yourself?" Mikey inserted pointedly. Donnie huffed wordlessly at him, annoyed but not denying the statement. "Maybe you need to take a break or something, Don. If it's so bad that you can't actually _remember _the stuff you've fixed…" He trailed off purposefully.

"I _told _you, I'm fine. Just tired. And I can't just 'take a break;' there are a million different things that need to be worked on. I have to repair the coffee machine and reassemble the toaster-"

"Because _how _can you expect us ta _live _without toast for a while?" Raph asked sarcastically. "An' God forbid we learn how _not _to break the remote. An' what on earth would we do without our DVDs? Not like we got anythin' else to amuse ourselves with."

"They've got a point, Donnie," Leo pointed out, ninja bastard-ing his way into the conversation. Ignoring the fact that his brothers jumped about a foot in the air and the resulting round of questionable language from Raph, he shook his head disappointedly when he took note of Donatello's mysteriously obtained cereal. The genius glared at him defiantly, silently threatening the hands of any who would dare try to remove the bowl from his grasp. Opting to leave the battle for another instance, he continued. "I mean, isn't there anything you'd rather be doing than cleaning up after everyone else?"

"Says the ninja who somehow managed to blow up the toaster," Raph muttered snidely, thirsting for vengeance for being startled. Leonardo didn't acknowledge the statement, sitting down across from his brother contemplatively. Donnie looked down at the table, considering the question.

"Well…I suppose I could take a few days off. I do have a few projects that I'd like to finish up with. And I've wanted to play around with different ideas for the security system. I was thinking I might try to install some kind of infrared sensors around the perimeter: nothing too sensitive, mind you, because I'm sure we don't want it going off every time a rat gets too close, but…you aren't listening to a word I'm saying, are you?" He asked his brothers suspiciously, having glanced up mid-explanation. Michelangelo, as it turned out, had somehow managed to sneak away from the table, and Leonardo was staring rather wistfully after him, mind completely elsewhere.

"I was listenin'," Raphael said idly. "Had no idea what you were _sayin'_, but I heard ya." He spun one of his sai on his fingers before turning his gaze to Leo, who hadn't answered at all. Eyes narrowing mischievously, he picked up a spare piece of cereal from the table's surface and chucked it, hitting the eldest directly between the eyes.

Leonardo gave no indication that he'd noticed. The two remaining turtles snickered.

"Is he meditating or something?" Donnie asked curiously, waving a hand in front of Leo's face. "I've never seen him so far gone." He snapped his fingers, gaining no response.

"It finally happened, Don," Raph stated incredulously. "You shorted out Leo's brain."

"That's what he gets for sabotaging my morning caffeine fix."

"I'll get a good hit in for ya durin' practice. His head's gonna throw him off balance; I can tell."

* * *

_Another chapter of character-debauchery. Well, maybe. It's pretty different from the way I usually write the guys, that's for sure. Feel free to let me know what you think._


	3. Chapter 3

_We're on, to chapter 3/5! I feel so accomplished. Okay, so much for accomplishment, I still have Stitches sort of simmering on a back burner until I figure more of it out. But this! This I can hopefully have done by the end of the week!_

_Disclaimer: The pain of not owning them doesn't go away._

* * *

Nearly a week into his supposed break, Donatello was becoming steadily convinced that he was losing his mind. After the decision to hold off on handyman duties was put into layman's terms and made common knowledge, it became apparent that said decision hadn't been followed through with.

Every time he entered his lab, it seemed another household appliance had been taken; he would spend the rest of the day searching, only to come back and find said appliance fixed and placed back onto the work table. Everywhere he went light bulbs were replaced, door hinges were tightened, vehicle tires were re-inflated, as well as any other number of various jobs he would have normally taken care of. And perhaps the most frustrating aspect of the entire ordeal was the fact that none of his brothers believed that he hadn't been doing anything.

Earlier that very morning, in fact, he had emerged from his bedroom and walked directly into a stare-down with an unusually irritated duo consisting of Leonardo and Mikey, who had shoved a cup of coffee into his hands with a deliberate sniff. It had taken a few moments for Donnie to understand the implications of the action, but as with any matter of logic, it registered and he proceeded to hang his head in defeat.

"Let me guess," he'd muttered dismally, gesturing vaguely to the beverage in his hand. "The coffee pot?"

"Fixed," Mikey stated succinctly, as close to seething as he ever seemed capable of getting. "Y'know Don, it was kinda fun at first, this whole 'sneaking around everyone and doing what I said I wouldn't do' thing. But now it's just getting old. The whole point of taking a break is to actually _take _a break. You know, not fixing everything in your path? Sleeping in? Working on stuff you wanna do for yourself?"

"That's what I've been doing, Mikey!" The genius burst out, narrowly avoiding leaving a dark brown puddle on the ground as he gesticulated emphatically towards the lab. "Just last night, I started piecing together those sensors I was talking about-"

"And the coffee maker just fixed itself. Like the oven door and the bathroom sink," Leo said disbelievingly, leveling him with a deadpan gaze. Ah, shell, and he was using the patented lecture stance.

"Of course not. Nothing ever fixes itself; but why does that automatically mean that _I'm _behind it?" Donatello asked heatedly. His brothers rolled their eyes exasperatedly, exchanging glances in the process.

"Because you're the only one that ever is?" Michelangelo suggested pointedly.

"Except that I'm not: at least not this time. You can't honestly believe that I'd agree to take it easy and then go around like it never happened." His gaze flickered between the two of them, gauging whether his argument was having any effect at all. Apparently it wasn't, because they didn't budge. "Where's Raph?" He asked suspiciously, suddenly all-too-aware of the fact that their resident hothead didn't appear to be aboard the intervention train. Which was ridiculous, because if there was one thing Raphael was good for it was intimidating his brothers for their own good.

"He'll be along in a second. I asked him to do something for me." Leo informed his younger brother just a little too casually. Donatello's eyes narrowed.

"Does it involve rope and duct tape? Or –God forbid- handcuffs?" He asked acidly, setting his mug on the ground next to his feet. "Because I have to say, being bound and gagged is far less relaxing than it sounds." Michelangelo snorted in spite of himself, face straightening once more at a reproving glance from the eldest.

"Sorry, it's just- that would totally be Plan B, wouldn't it?" The youngest turtle asked his brother knowingly. Leonardo raised an eye ridge, clearly giving the matter thought before returning the gaze.

"Actually, yes." Donnie was spared having to think of various ways to get past all three of his brothers and into the relative safety of the New York sewers by the timely entrance of his red-banded brother. In response to Leo's inquiring look and being surprisingly easygoing, he shot the leader a quick thumbs-up and a crooked smirk.

"Alright, Donnie-boy," he said smugly, slinging an arm around the genius's shoulders. "We decided that you gotta get outta the lair for a while. So we're kickin' ya out."

"You're- what, now?" The second-youngest asked, eyes widening.

"We're not really kicking you out," Leo inserted quickly, shooting a stern glare at the emerald green terrapin. "We just thought you might have less trouble staying away from temptation if you were, uh, actually away from temptation." Raph snorted.

"Yeah, that's not gonna confuse him, Leo."

"What they're trying to say- trying and failing, I just thought I'd throw in there," Mikey said with a dramatic flair, "is that we're shipping you off to hang with April today. So you can spout off all the geek-speak you want and somebody'll actually understand it."

"Oh. As, ah, nice as that sounds, I really don't think-"

"No choice, Brainiac. The call's been made and we're droppin' you off," Raph cut him off, voice holding just the right amount of malice as he steered his brother towards the door. "So shut your mouth and don't even think of tryin' to mess with her tools."

"She's been completely filled in," Leo added firmly.

"So she's my babysitter," Donatello said, looking dangerously close to pouting. His older brothers eyed his expression and gave simultaneous snorts.

"More like a prison warden, if that helps," Mikey threw out offhandedly.

"Because things worked out so well the last time you dropped me off at her place," the genius murmured sarcastically. The procession froze momentarily, muscles tensing up in remembrance of the occasion. Sensing a need to backpedal, Donnie heaved a sigh. "Sorry." Raphael recovered first, readjusting his grip and pushing back towards the lair entrance.

"We ain't tryin' to get rid of ya, Don," he ground out quietly, eyes very carefully trained on the door ahead of them. "So don't start bringin' things up that don't need to be."

"We just want you to have some time for yourself. It's- in a couple of days you can pretend this whole break thing never happened, if it makes you happy. If you aren't here, you won't feel like you have to fix anything for us, and you know April always has something up her sleeve for you to enjoy," Leo said pleadingly, looking remarkably guilty.

"Fine. Just- just try not to burn down the lair while I'm out?" Donnie asked semi-seriously. His brothers exchanged glances again, calculating their odds of succeeding. The genius rolled his eyes. "Right. At least make sure everybody gets out."

**********************************************

"So I hear you've been overworking yourself," April said pointedly, turning the full power of her sisterly nagging onto the purple-banded turtle. She gave him a quick once-over, eyes narrowed into dangerous slits. Donatello snorted.

"Then you need to double-check your source of information, because I haven't been. I've been 'taking a break' for almost a week now."

"And that, of course, is why your brother gave me explicit instructions not to allow you near any malfunctioning machinery today," she said in a carefully neutral tone, raising one eyebrow over her coffee. Sensing a lecture coming on, the turtle sighed in defeat. April was undeterred. "You know, it's unhealthy to keep working on things if you can't even remember doing it."

"I _haven't _been working, April, that's exactly it. I keep waking up in the morning and getting lectured for overworking, but I haven't gone near anything that would constitute overdoing it. Things disappear from the lab and then reappear, repaired, and I'm getting blamed for it." He allowed his head to drop onto her table. "I have no idea what's going on. It can't be possible that I'm doing things without remembering," he moaned, voice muffled. When he looked back up, she was observing him curiously.

"Maybe you're not." At his baffled set of blinks, she set her mug down, bringing her fingers to a point under her chin. "It sounds to me like you've got a case of Shoemaker's Elves."

"Elves? April, you're aware that elves are creatures of fiction, right? I hate to have to rid you of the illusion, but-"

"Give me some credit, Donnie. I'm a smart girl. Haven't you _ever _heard a fairy tale?" She asked incredulously.

"We grew up in a sewer. Fairy tales weren't high on our priorities list, and by the time we were able to procure books, I was over the magic phase." She sighed, blowing her bangs away from her eyes and shifting closer to the table. As she opened her mouth to begin speaking, he interrupted. "If you're planning on actually telling the story, can you make it the abridged version, please? Not that I don't appreciate the effort," he tacked on hastily. April responded by giving him a gentle punch to the shoulder.

"Fine. But I'll have you know, Mike raves about my storytelling skills. Simply put, a shoemaker was going to sleep at night and waking up to find that someone had made the shoes for him. He kept setting the supplies out and eventually he stayed up to find out what was happening, and-"

"Enter the elves," Donnie finished shortly. "I guess I can see what you're aiming for, but the fairy tale reference was really unnecessary. You could have just said what you meant."

"Lighten up a little, Don. Everybody needs to hear a fairy tale once in a while." Ignoring the statement, the terrapin pursed his lips in thought.

"I guess it does make sense, though. I didn't give any thought to the fact that it might not have been me. It's definitely more plausible than epilepsy."

"You were seriously considering epilepsy?" The human asked, stifling giggles. "Is it so hard to believe that somebody else could have been doing it for you?" Glaring, the genius only offered a shrug. "Well at least you know what to do now."

"I've been going absolutely crazy trying to figure this out. It's about time I had a plan." He said, voice low and thoughtful.

Catching each others' gazes, their smiles were sharp and mischievous.

* * *

_I know, it was probably awful. Constructive criticism would be much appreciated. Heck, anything would be much appreciated ^-^_


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter 4/5 and we are on a roll! I am much obliged to those of you who reviewed, and equally obliged to any who have read without reviewing. *bows*_

_Disclaimer: I was hoping my 11:11 pm wish would come true. But it hasn't. Not mine._

* * *

It was in the very early hours of the morning when the silence of the lair was discreetly disturbed by the faint sound of a bedroom door opening. Pausing for a moment to ensure that this hadn't awoken anyone (for living in a ninja household was not without consequence), a lone figure slipped out and into the main living area without a sound. He glanced at the clock, locked in a brief internal debate, before determining that the hour was indeed late enough to get away with his intended task. The laboratory door- hinges recently oiled- was eased open silently and he disappeared into its dark interior.

As the door closed once more, Donatello cautiously picked himself up from the floor behind the couch with a self-satisfied smirk. Overall, the plan he and April had devised seemed to be going…well…according to plan. It would, perhaps, not win points for creativity or originality, but when it came down to it that wasn't what mattered. All he'd needed was an outline that would work and work fast. So it had been determined that he would simply lie in wait for the metaphorical 'elf' to appear and then spring into action.

April's original plan, it was true, had been much more convoluted. Shaking his head at the memory, the genius was just glad he'd managed to draw her away from a trap involving ropes, duct tape and tranquilizers. There had been specific diagrams and maps, complete with a time chart that had to be strictly followed. And for some reason, the itinerary had included a rather vicious-looking feather duster.

Sometimes he wondered what was wrong with that woman.

But this was not the time to contemplate the strange warped psychology of his human best friend, he reminded himself firmly, creeping forward with his objective in mind. Nearing his lab, he could hear the slightest clatter as various items were rearranged on his work table. The purple-banded turtle frowned sternly; it had taken hours of work to organize those items to his satisfaction just that evening. Seeing no reason to continue delaying the inevitable, he grasped the knob and quickly pushed the door open-

-catching Raphael red handed.

There were several ridiculously long moments of stunned silence, in which both parties did a considerable amount of blinking. Donatello spent some of this time perusing the fact that he, on some level, may have been expecting actual elves. This, of course, was immediately swatted down upon realization and buried amongst the many things that he would never, _ever _admit to thinking. With this taken care of, he recovered his senses and planted a hand on his hip.

"Given your stint as a vigilante, I never would have pegged you as the breaking and entering type," he said wryly, tilting his head to the side in consideration. Raph, sensing that he would be unable to escape the situation, straightened up and set what appeared to be a newly repaired toaster on the work table, shooting the genius a sharp grin.

"Learn somethin' new every day," the older turtle replied casually. "'Course, I don't think it counts as breakin' and enterin' if it's in your own house and the door ain't locked. But hey, if it makes ya feel better-"

"Hold it right there! You are not going to get out of this on a technicality, Raph. I will throw _so_ many things at you that we will have to dig for _weeks_ just to find you again." In an attempt to get his point across, Donnie snatched up the nearby remains of a flattened shell cell, waving it threateningly in the red-banded turtle's direction. Raphael cocked an eye ridge, clearly not intimidated despite the other's best efforts. Utterly deadpan, he stepped forward and plucked the device out of his younger brother's grasp.

"Right," he started skeptically, "and you were gonna phone me to death _why_?" Donatello's brow creased furiously as he resisted the urge to haul back and kick Raph in the shin. Unable to help sensing that such a course of action would end badly, he settled for merely crossing his arms and glaring.

"Were you not present for the series of events during which you snuck into my lab- MY lab, Raph, not yours, not the family's- and proceeded to systematically steal my property? I could have sworn you were there, it's the strangest thing-"

"My bad, Brainiac," Raph growled shortly, bristling under accusations of theft. "I guess I was under the impression that we _all_ owned the damned toaster. Guess that's just me bein' unreasonable."

"Well we don't all own the toaster! If it's broken, it's mine until such time as I can fix it! In fact, if a light bulb blows, consider the socket sanctioned off with little rolls of yellow caution tape!" The genius exclaimed, outraged and trying to put things into sensible order. Raph had snuck into _his_ lab and absconded with various items and somehow _he_ was the one being unreasonable? Raphael's eyes narrowed, signaling potential danger, and so Donnie took a moment to collect himself.

It was _late_, he was tired, and this was taking far longer than he'd wanted it to. In fact, he'd been hoping to have a quick, two-minute, civilized chat before heading to bed with some kind of valuable moral lesson imbued into his mind. Stupid difficult brothers. He wondered why it couldn't have just turned out to be magical elves after all. They'd faced aliens and stared down the supernatural before, and it would have been so much easier to chock up another event as gratitude from another race. With a short wave of weariness, he pulled his thoughts back into focus and let his attention fall back to the hotheaded ninja once more.

"Okay, Raphael: why have you been doing it?"

_"Why?"_

"Well you have to have _some _reason for completely driving me up the wall. I've been walking around thinking I was insane!" Donnie stated, a little frustrated. Raph observed him almost cautiously, as though thinking something along the same lines. "Were you trying to make a point? You-you wanted to prove that you were capable or something like that?" A snort.

"As if."

"Did I do something to _offend _you recently? Did you feel like showing me that I'm not as useful as I thought?" Raphael was beginning to look incredibly annoyed at this point. He stepped forward, jabbing the genius in the plastron.

"Sure, because it ain't bad enough that you're callin' me a thief, you gotta throw in that ya think I'm _that_ much of an asshole!" Donatello sighed, controlling the instinct to roll his eyes.

"That's not what I'm saying, Raph," he stated in insulted denial. "I'm just trying to find out why you've been doing what you've been doing. I _know_ that it can't be because you enjoy doing the work."

"You're _smarter_ than us, ya moron! You're probably smarter than everyone in the entire damn country! You an' your stupid brain are supposed ta be curin' cancer or somethin'! Not spendin' your time walkin' around after your three explosions on legs bros, fixin' stuff that we can fix ourselves! An' _maybe_ I thought ya'd like havin' time to do stuff ya actually _wanna_do!" He burst out heatedly, continually jabbing his brother in the plastron to accentuate his point.

"But _why _do you all of a sudden care about removing yourself from the top of the most destructive list?" Donnie asked, throwing his hands in the air in a fit of frustration. Raph smacked him on the back of the head, pushing past his defenses and out into the lair.

"I just _told_ ya why," he threw back exasperatedly. Heading for the lair entrance, he paused momentarily before continuing on his way with a snort. "If ya can't figure anythin' else out on your own, ya obviously don't need to know yet." And with that, he departed into the sewers.

Donnie slumped into his chair with a scoff, staring at the lab's empty doorway. His gaze fell upon the repaired toaster and narrowed.

"Don't give me that look," he hissed glumly, looking away from it and back again. It faced him as stoically as ever. _Well, I've clearly done an exemplary job of not making an ungrateful ass of myself, _he thought icily. With a tired sigh, he stood and followed his brother out.

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_We're coming up on the last chapter soon! So how bad was it? Thrashed, right? Something about this fic makes me feel like I'm taking everyone OOC. *shrug* Anyway, thanks for reading and keep your eyes peeled for the final chapter (which will hopefully be posted by V-Day)._


	5. Chapter 5

_Ah, here it is, chapter 5/5. I've become addicted to counting chapter numbers, I think. Major props to everyone who read, and everyone who reviewed! Oh, right, the chapter XD. Shall we?_

_Disclaimer: Alas, not even mine for my Valentine's Special._

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Donatello's feet hit the roof with practiced ease as he landed behind the shadowed figure of his older brother. Discovering that he'd finally caught up with the other turtle, he decided that Raph's predictability was, in fact, a good thing. It didn't change the fact that he was always just walking out of the lair, but it made finding him much easier. And of all his favorite brooding spots, his first choice was almost always the roof of Casey's old apartment building. The genius never really understood the appeal of the place once Casey had started making enough of a living to upgrade to a better apartment. It was old, in shambles and surrounded by noise.

Maybe Raphael was just set in his ways. Another example to add to his lengthy list of displays of stubbornness, Donatello figured with a roll of his eyes. Raph sat idly on the ledge of the roof, watching the procession of early morning traffic begin to fall into place. The purple-banded turtle hesitated, debating his course of action, before deciding against sitting next to his brother at the moment.

"Hi," he said, fully appreciating exactly how awkward he felt. Raph glanced over, cocking an eye ridge in consideration before looking back towards the street impassively.

"Hey." Donnie allowed his eyes to wander for a few moments, randomly observing their surroundings and scuffing his toes against the roof of the building.

"I'm...uh…I'm sorry for yelling at you. I didn't mean to come across as ungrateful or anything." Raphael shot him a surprised glance before shrugging the apology off with a wave of his hand.

"Forget it. Should've figured ya wouldn't want someone doin' stuff for you. I wouldn't."

"It's not that, I appreciated the help, it's just…You didn't have to sneak around doing it, you know. You could have just asked if there was anything you could do."

"Yeah, whatever." The genius rolled his eyes; of _course _his brother was going to be difficult about this. Maybe it would have been best to get a good night's sleep before trying to deal with him. On that note, the second-youngest reflected, maybe it would have been a better idea to just set up security cameras in the lab before confronting his brother at a later date.

The things one realizes when they're exhausted.

Nonetheless, he hadn't followed Raph out of the lair to get in another fight over an apology. Sighing, he decided that it was one of those battles that he would have to fight another day.

"Well, that's really the only reason I came out here. As long as we're clear, I'm going to head home. You should probably get going soon, too." At that, the larger turtle straightened up, turning his head slightly in his brother's direction.

"You can stay. If ya want," he offered, face the picture of indifference. Donnie tilted his head to the side, debating whether or not his brother was being serious. After a few moments, he carefully plopped down next to Raphael on the ledge, gently nudging the side of the building with his heels.

"This is a bit out in the open, isn't it?"

"Probably. Never been seen before, though." Taking his brother's word for it, the genius observed the street below. After a lengthy silence, he spoke again.

"You did a good job. Fixing the toaster, I mean. When did you learn how to do those kinds of repairs?"

"Looked it up. You ain't the only one who knows how t'read a manual, y'know. Once I got it figured, it wasn't so hard." Don nodded, making a confirmative noise.

"Well, if you're ever bored enough I could always find something for you to do. So maybe you wouldn't have to go running out of the lair all the time." Raph grunted noncommittally. After a moment, he seemed to remember something, reaching into his belt and pulling out the flattened shell cell he'd grabbed before leaving.

"Forgot to give this back to ya," he muttered, looking somewhat embarrassed. "I, uh, I didn't do any more damage or anythin', in case ya wanted to know."

Donnie took the device in both hands, picking at the damage with an analytical eye.

"I can tell."

"Probably would've picked it up instead of the toaster, but there ain't exactly a manual for those things. Never could figure out the stuff ya made yourself," the hothead stated casually. Donatello snorted in response, allowing them to lapse into silence.

He turned the phone over in his hands gently in the meantime, already trying to remember where he'd put his tool kit. His gaze flickered over to Raph and back again.

"I could…I could probably show you how to fix it. If you wanted." Raphael's glance was felt rather than seen, and he continued turning the phone over, feigning obliviousness.

"Yeah. If ya don't mind showin' me."

Glancing at his brother out of the corner of his eye, Donatello felt a smile creep across his face.

* * *

_It was kind of short, but there wasn't much for it. Hope you enjoyed my pathetic Valentine's attempt ^-^_


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